Everyone Nose

Anybody that nose me (hehe) knows that I love Jew bitches for a lot of reasons. I only know one that I can truly quantify though.

Not the, "I think I left the oven on" look on her dumb face but that fuuuhhuuucking thing that protrudes from it. Holy shit. I think I've jerked off to this photo so many times I might have to pay royalties. 

#YesAllNoses

I have a thing for noses. I've lobbied on behalf of noses making a face better or worse for years. I've been ridiculed, roasted and rebuffed from making my case for as long as the nose on this bitch. But in the words of those niglets from the Apple Jacks commercials, "My dick beats to what it likes."

Now it's not just Jew bitches that I love but all bitches. Italian bitches, Turkish bitches, Russian bitches... All of those sandy middle east, eastern Europe, used-to-be-Soviet bloc fucking wastelands that produce goddamn gold in women and scientists... Yeah. Those bitches. 

Some would argue that the woman above is objectively beautiful without the big nose. Some would argue that she would actually be MORE beautiful with a smaller nose. For them I say "Go fuck yourself." As far as I know no one openly talks about a nose's role in how attractive it makes a face. The only circumstances occur when they mention how it subtracts from the beauty.

I'm here to let you know that we can talk about it. A big nose is seen as a slight. As if the small and delicate noses put one in a higher caste. Well I hope so. I hope all the big nosed bitches hate their face so much that they saunter sadly to me so I can fuck it. You're welcome.

Unfortunately that is not the case. Introducing FuckYeahBigNoses.

Well fuck. There goes my plan. Men and women banding together to love their faces in spite of adversity? Oh joy.  The good news is they won't be getting nose jobs any time soon and have provided me with hours of jerk off material. Winning.

Why I Jerk to This

It takes a boring face and adds character? Gives volume to the attractiveness like Pantene Pro V? I don't fuckin know, man, but here's a collection of what I mean when I say "big nose". 

Ex. Jerked to this like thirty times before I even met her.

I've jerked off to the Facebook profile of your sister, your mother, your girlfriend, your soccer captain, your priest and your dog trainer if they even remotely look like this. I'm not ashamed and you big nosed bitches shouldn't be either.



*If anyone is struggling with their love of noses and needs support during this tough time, please reach out to me and I will guide you to acceptance. 
**If anyone is struggling with loving their face and the large, seemingly unattractive nose that occupies it, please reach out to my dick and I will help you with it.
***To see the collection of noses that I jerk off to, holler at ya boy and we'll trade like Pokemon cards.